If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize