I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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