Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize