Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
