I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
