how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
