I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
