There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
