Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
