I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
