Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Randomize