1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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