if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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