please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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