Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Mom said you looked used
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
