my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
When are your genitals available?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
