i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
