I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
did you just send me my own nude
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize