Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
