I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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