You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
