Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Damn victory sex feels great
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