Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
