so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
