i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
