dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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