Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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