I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think i have herpe
just one?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
