i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
