Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
