Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
