I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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