Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
