yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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