Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
