new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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