Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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