drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
