I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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