TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
