1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
