Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
