i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize