you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
