now i know why i became what i already was.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
