Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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