last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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