Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
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