Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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