Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize