one two three fourrrrnication!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
