After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
