so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Randomize
