i may or may not be watching the land before time
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
