I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
