I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
