I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
