Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
