Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
