you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
