i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize